Sacrifice
by A Soulless Poet
Summary: Finally taking control of his life, Lavi has a chance at love. At living away from his dark past. Finally he has a chance to be happy...until some one from his past comes back to huant him...
1. Milk

Cutting the engine on his bike, Lavi reached back and removed the helmet of his passenger. Patting the brown hair back into place, he gave her a quick kiss and lifted her down. The red head couldn't help but grin as Arie kissed him back. Nails dug into his riding leathers and left little marks, but he didn't care. He would do anything for his girl.

Two brown and blue eyes looked up expectantly. A mini Aussie, she was the perfect companion. Arie came with him everywhere he went. Work, home, he even had a special seat on his motorcycle made for her so she could come with him on rides. They loved it, just riding aimlessly, the wind in their faces. For Lavi, with his girl at his side...it was freedom. If even for a fleeting moment.

"C'mon, girl. Mom won't stop texting me about this milk..."

When Arie snuffled and wiggled, he laughed and opened the door. Without his saying a word, she sad and he bowed, waving her in. It was a ritual they'd done since she was a pup.

"And where the _hells have_ you and your _mutt _been, Lavi? Joy riding again? Maybe off looking at women with that disgusting Hatsuharu fella?"

Biting back a sigh, he waved the milk. At his side, Arie picked up on her partners' tension and he could feel her push against his leg. Trying to offer comfort and protection.

"The milk you've been texting me about for the past hour."

"Well, you and your _mutt _took too damned long!"

Tossing he little Aussie a treat, Lavi grabbed an apple and put the milk in the fridge. Quickly gazing over the other contents, Lavi sighed. As soon as his mom passed out, he'd have to go shopping. They needed everything. Produce and canned goods. Dog food and dog treats. Toiletries. All of it. With a nod, he grabbed a pen, paper and made a list. It would all have to fit on his motorcycle.

The state of his home was a complete mess. The whole place reeked of beer and spilled spirits. Old laundry and unwashed bodies. The only nice smelling area was his room. Lavi did everything he could to try and keep it clean but with his mother in her...state...that often made things difficult.

_Can't even bring a damn girl over..._

Not that he had a girl to bring over anyways. Every time he tried to get close of someone, they would become jealous of Arie's constant company. Or they loved her and stayed with him because he was a "bad" boy with his bike. He'd even come really close to bringing a girl home. But they ran when they reached the door.

_Only one brave enough to come here is Haru! Even then he's kind enough to help me clean..._

A tiny paw resting against his leg was the symbol that he was getting lost in his own darkness. A darkness that Arie knew how to pull him out of it.

"Arie! Arie oooohoooo! My girl!"

Patting his chest, he held her when she jumped up and gave her zerberts on the belly. She loved it when he would pet her and say "belly belly!"

With a sigh, he set her down and attached her leash to his belt. Already his spirits felt lifted. He'd deal with this mess later. For now, he had to run an errand...again. Grabbing the car keys from his moms' purse – just in case – he tucked them away and lead his Arie out the door.

"C'mon Arie. Back to the store..."


	2. A favour

Parking his bike in his usual spot, Lavi attached Arie's leash to his belt, removed his leather jacket and helmet and walked in. The bell above the door jingled and it made him smile. Only two things in life made him really truly smile...

"Aha! Is that a smile I see, Bookman?!"

Looking up, the red head grinned. Haru Sohma, a close friend stood behind the counter. As the owner of this store, he worked here every day. Kind to his staff and guests, he always knew how to make people feel welcome and warm. But Lavi knew he had a darker, fun-loving side.

"Hey, Haru...ready for shopping?"

When the store clerk noticed the long list in Lavi's hand, he nodded. Instant relief washed over the red head. This store was his true home. Hatsuharu – or Haru as he preferred – his brother...best friend...and confidant. Lavi had only told Haru what was really happening. Only his best friend knew what was going on behind the man's sad green eyes and fake smile.

Tossing the lettuce in the cart, Haru reached around Lavi's hips – laughing when his friend jerked away with a look – and unhooked Arie from Lavi's belt to his own. The younger man smiled when her whole body shook from her tail wagging.

"Dude, I am stealing this dog. Arie! You want to come home with Uncle Haru?"

Motioning for his girl to sit, Lavi couldn't help but laugh. Ducking a can of soup, he grinned like the cat that caught the canary.

"Why the hell would you need a dog that follows hand signals?!"

Lavi couldn't stop the fear chill that ran down his spine. Memories threatened to overwhelm him and he knelt and Arie immediately rushed to his arms, resting a paw against his chest. Right away he was brought back to earth. To the here and now.

"It's...gotten me out of a few...troubles. Let's leave it at that...Green peppers. And something extra special for my girlie here. Beef bones maybe? Oh! Do you have any of those ham bones? She went nuts for them!"

Looking up at the light _snick _Lavi shook his head when Haru offered her leash back to him.

"Naw, you're gonna hold onto our girl while I drive."

"Aawh! You mean I get the... lady seat? Can I drive?"

With dark laughter, Lavi shook his head. No one touched his bike except for him...as much as he loved him, not even Haru had that privilege. With a good natured groan, Haru followed Lavi to the checkout. When everything was checked out, the bill came to 201.25$ Very reluctantly, Lavi tried his moms Debit.

_Declined._

Nodding – but still embarrassed – Lavi bit his lip and was about to put the phone card and other items back when Haru stopped him. Walking behind the counter, the owner good naturedly waved the girl away.

"Go for a break, hun!"

When the bill went to Zero, Lavi shook his head.

"Haru - !"

"Nope. Don't argue. Payment for you fixing my delivery truck."

"But – you paid me..."

Again, Haru waved his hand in dismissal, this time at Lavi.

"For the lights then."

"Paid. Twice."

Thinking a moment, Haru grinned. Lavi knew that grin. Last time, he spent two months working on Haru's truck... Cautious he grabbed his bags and waited for his friend to speak.

"Look, man...because I love you, my cousin Shigure needs some repairs. In the head yes – but I'm speaking of his house in this case. He's willing to let you work for room, board and gas. You get outta that bullshit of a house you live in and... well..."

With a shrug, Haru was silent. But Lavi saw the pros of going with his friends plan. He'd be able to leave his home. His mother. Her "Illness." All of it...gone.

"And save that bill. I know you like to touch my ass – but I also know your bike needs gas."

Shocked out of his reverie, Lavi grinned sheepishly at getting caught trying to slip his friend the $100. Loading the groceries, the two got on the bike, Haru grumbling of course, and set off for Lavi's house.


	3. Memories

Stepping in the house, Lavi's grin faded. The place reeked for yeast and spirits. Bottles were everywhere. Side stepping a bottle, Haru clapped Lavi on the shoulder. A silent:

_You're not alone, brother. Hang in there_

Taking comfort a moment, Lavi nodded. As Haru put the food away, Lavi gathered what little he had. He'd be staying at Shigure's while the details were hammered out. It was just easier that way for all involved. Arie's bed, toys, leash, harness, grooming supplies and food. Grabbing his books and pillow, he was ready.

Stashing everything by the front door, Lavi helped clean the place. Cigarette butts and cans lay everywhere...digging in a pile of dirty clothes to put in a basket, he even found boxers. _Not _his own. His heart threatened to break into a million pieces ...then he hardened it. If his mother chose to have gentleman callers – well that was just her own damned choice. As far as Lavi saw it, there was only one to look after. Himself. ...and Arie...so two. With a nod, he grimaced and tossed the stinking load to wash.

He was elbow deep in the tub when there was a light kick to his backside. Glaring, he sat up in shock when Haru stepped back, hands raised. Sighing, he ran a sudsy hand through his mussed hair.

"Sorry, man...thought you were my mother."

A shiver ran down Lavi's spine. Memories of when he was a little boy...a strange man yelling and hitting his mother. He hiding in the tub until the police man came and wrapped a blanket around him. Stood guard while Lavi dressed. For years he'd kept in touch with the officer...Officer Nightingale. Just a few years passed, he'd died in a drug bust gone wrong. Yet another man cruelly taken from Lavi at a young age.

_That's why I am lucky to have my Arie...she'll never let me down like that. _

Although he wasn't disillusioned. He knew that one day she would pass on. But when that time came was when he would deal with it. Not now. Not when he needed her the most to force away the darkness in his mind. The memories quickly taking hold.

"Arie! Arie!"

Panic started to rise in Lavi. His breathing became fast. Arms wrapped themselves around him and the familiar scent of Haru filled his senses. Holding tight to his friend, he only moved when a wet little nose shoved her way through and little paws set themselves against his chest. Leaning against the tub, he let the tears fall. Almost robotic, he ran his hands through her soft sweet smelling fur. Gently Haru let him go but still understood that his friend needed him near. Reaching out, Lavi grabbed a hold of Haru's hand and held tight. He was starting to calm down.

Never would he do this in a public setting...that would set the impression that he was something he wasn't. That life style was not his own. Nor Haru's. This was different, it was an unspoken bond between friends, tried and true.

"You okay, Lavi? You know man, if you need to cry..."

Kicking the door shut and setting his booted foot against it, Lavi nodded. Slowly, he let go of Haru's hand and his friend came to sit beside him. Wrapping on leg under Arie, the other against the door, Lavi was finally able to lean back against the tub and let the tears fall. With Arie in his arms and Haru helping hold the door, he was safe...or at least he wasn't alone in a house with a mother who wanted him dead.

"Man...you need to go to the bar...let's go. I want you to meet some people. I'll tell you about em' on the way. "

Grabbing his friends outstretched hand, Lavi nodded. A night out would do him good.


	4. Night out

Gripping the strap of the guitar tighter, Lavi looked on in amazed horror.

_Why the hell did I let them take me here...!?_

Looking over at Tohru, he could tell that she was very uncomfortable. When he gently brushed his fingers against her palm, a jolt of..._something_ – a warm shock – ran through his arm and spread through his entire body. A grin came unbidden to his face when she grabbed his hand and held tight.

The group stood there and soon Yuki worked his way through the crowed to the bar. Hatori stood smoking below a _no smoking. Offenders will be forcibly removed._ Sign seemingly oblivious. Haru grinned and dragged the remaining pair over to where the DJ was playing.

When they got there the orange haired man grinned, his canines in sharp points. Lavi was so caught off guard; he stepped back a little in front of Tohru. Red irised eyes followed his movements like a cat following their prey.

"Kyo! I want you to meet my friend, Lavi. He's staying with us for a ...very long while."

_Haru you bastard...!_

Lavi more than noticed the barb of teasing in his friends' voice. And didn't like it. This was Kyo – the man he'd threatened to piss in his cornflakes Kyo! The DJ held up a finger and flicked a switch. Lights sprang to life in the room like fire flies released from their confinement. It shone over everything. The mirrors lining the wall, the roof of the warehouse styled building, the hard wood floor...and the masses of the writhing, grinding bodies...some tossed their heads back in ecstasy of the music. Others, Lavi could see through the haze of a light smoke – were in dark corners following other...pursuits.

When Kyo came to stand in front of them, the orange haired man noticed Tohru now holding onto Lavi's arm. Immediately a cold smile overcame his features.

"So, Lavi...what would your _girl _say to you being with another woman so openly? "

Swinging the weathered guitar case off his shoulder, he passed it to Kyo.

"One scratch and you're dead, Garfield. Tohru...shall we dance?"

Wrapping his arm around her waist, he led the way. Just about to go onto the dance floor, Lavi waved over his shoulder and called back:

"Kyo, I'd say my girl would jump in my arms and _beg _for my touch...Because, unlike you Garfield...I'm just _that_ good..."

Grinning, Lavi could see no reason to tell that ass that his other girl was really his dog...

Once on the dance floor, he had no trouble spotting his companions. Yuki was off to one side, clearly completely wasted. His shirt was undone and belt missing. His once neat hair was all mussed and a foolish grin graced his princely features. With him was a complete stranger...a bar-hopper. Not at all sure what those two were doing, Lavi laughed and turned away. All he saw was a lot of messy grinding and pawing. Yuki would regret that come the morning...if he remembered it at all! It was what he saw next that brought him to tears with laughter.

Haru and Hatori stood in the middle of the room. The older man stood wooden like a puppet – Haru his puppeteer. Hatori's arms swung around in the air, loose like a rag doll. Let go, they fell useless to his side, a puppet once more. Grinning even wider, Haru slowly undid Hatori's tie and wrapped it around his own neck. A small pout came to his face when still no reaction. Fed up with it, Haru ran his hands slowly down Hatori's sides and down to his belt. When Hatori went to take a step back, Haru grabbed one of his buttons with his teeth and tugged. Doing such with the remaining buttons, he then slowly took the shoot off of his dance partner. Swinging it above his head, he howled and jumped on a table swinging his hips. Wiping his eyes, Lavi turned away and focused his attention on his own beautiful dance partner.


	5. Vulnerable

Holding his hands out to Tohru, he was about to dance with her when Kyo spoke up.

"Can I have your attention please! Its open mic time, folks! And we have our first volunteer! Is there a Lavi Bookman in the crowed! Ah – there – the man in the baggy jeans and button down shirt...look it that folks, a man you'd want to take home to momma!"

The search light focused on Lavi and he raised his hand to stop the glare.

_What the hell is this bastard up to._

Before he could even blink let alone refuse, a waitress came over and grabbed his arm, dragging him back stage. Once there a weird looking man that smelled of woman's perfume puffed make up on his face – "So your skin don't shine, darlin'!" – And he was fitted with a mic that went into his ear like an earphone – a little mouth piece resting just at the corner of his lips.

Music started to play and Lavi was gently pushed out of the curtain. The room was packed from the raised stage...a smallish room, that wasn't hard to do. But still...all these people...! Ready to turn around and back out, the CD skipped and Kyo had to change it. Now was his chance! But as he turned, Haru came on stage and started to play the piano for the intro of the song. So he was stuck then. Taking a breath, he stuck his hands in his pocket and started to sing in a hushed voice.

"Took a long hard look at my life.  
Lost my way while I was fighting the time.  
A big black cloud, stormy sky  
followed me while I was living a lie."

A memory washed through his head. He was sitting in a class room and the teacher asked how he'd broken his arm. He'd lied and said he'd fallen from a tree. The teach and he bother knew that it was a lie...trees don't grow near stairs...

"So heartless, so selfish, so in darkness,  
when all your nights are starless,  
you're running outta hope."

Looking out into the crowed, he found Tohru...her ocean blue eyes shone and she had her hands clasped to her heart – hips gently swaying to the music. Suddenly he found his confidence and danced a few steps back, waving his hand in the air. Haru nodded encouragement from the piano.

"But I found the strength inside to see,  
Found the better part of me,  
and I'll never let it go."

As he waved his arm and hips to the music, another memory washed through him. The day he'd met Haru. He'd just ran away from home and was caught stealing from his store. When confronted, he didn't cry. Didn't beg. Just looked him right in the eye and told him straight.

"My mom's drunk and I'm starving."

Fifteen years old, he was so skinny; he looked so much younger. Haru made him return the food but cooked for him. The next day an "anonymous" basket showed up at his home. Full of food. Since that day, he'd never stolen again. Instead he started to work for his meals.

"I've come a long, long way,  
made a lot of mistakes,  
but I'm breathing, breathing,  
that's right  
And I mean it, mean it"

At the words "breathing, breathing" Lavi pat his chest right above his heart. Jumping down from the stage, he danced through the crowed, gently grabbing the more respectable ladies and twirling them for a turn. He even danced the moonwalk with a drunken guy. Tears started to fall down his cheeks but he ignored them.

"This time  
I'm a little run down,  
I've been living out loud.  
I can beat it, beat it,"

Stomping a little step back, he nodded his upper body and clapped his hands together a few times above his head. Around him the crowed started to clap and cheer. He had to try so hard to not laugh when he caught Yuki clapping his hands wide – like a seal – and singing extremely off key. Swaying his hips again toward Tohru, he slid his left foot on the ground until they were touching and he stood like a soldier. For a moment he was silent...then:

"That's right,  
'cause I'm feeling, feeling,  
Invincible.  
Whoa-oh-oh-oh

When you're gone for a day on your own,  
Tear your heart out just to find your way home.

A memory washed through him of officer Nightingale finding him curled in a ball on the police station steps. His mother was so drunk; she'd brought a strange man home. Lavi had only been ten then. He'd packed a peanut butter sandwich, his pajamas and Good Night Moon, then went out to find the police station, Nightingale's card pinned to his jacket. 

I've been so high, I've sunk so low,  
I've come so far with nothing to show  
For it mistaken, I got so good at taking,  
But now I'm tired of faking.  
This story's getting old.

Reaching his hand out to Tohru, he twirled her around towards him, so her back was to his chest. One hand on her hips, the other holding her hand against her tummy, Lavi gently moved his hips against her lower back. When she gasped and tried to move away, he twirled her so she was facing him and winked. When she smiled a shy smile, he pulled her against him, chest to chest, hips to hips and leaned in to whisper:

"So I found the strength inside to see,  
from the better part of me,  
and I'll never let it go."

A quick kiss to her cheek, then he lightly back-stepped away from her and grabbed the drunken Yuki by the hand. Holding his friends arm above his head, he skipped a circle around the historically laughing man. Next was Hatori's turn – like wise Lavi danced around him, but just before he walked back to Tohru, he took the mans cigarette and flicked the ash to put it out. Grinning, he tucked it in the man's pocket and shook his finger in a no-no jester. Back to Tohru, he held her loosely against his chest again, his hips at her lower back. Slowly he guided her hips with his. Lavi couldn't help but grin as he felt her lean into him and get into the dance and music.

"I've come a long, long way,  
made a lot of mistakes,  
but I'm breathing, breathing," 

Here he pats the air just above Tohru's heart.

"That's right  
And I mean it, mean it.  
This time  
I'm a little run down,  
I've been living out loud.  
I can beat it, beat it,"

Lavi stood still, feet spread, arms flexing, he bent his knees a little and bounced a couple of times. Tohru giggled and took a step forward as he accidently rubbed against her. 

"That's right,  
'cause I'm feeling, feeling,  
Invincible.  
Whoa-oh-oh-oh  
Invincible."

Falling back, he caught himself on his hands and pushed up with his arms, landing on his feet again. A few people from the crowd cheered and Haru cat called from the piano. Hearing drums, Lavi almost dropped a note as he noticed Hatori was playing.

"I'm not the only one,  
to crash into the sun and live to fight another day.  
Like a super nova, that old life is over.  
I'm here to stay."

The memory of when he first found Arie flashed in his mind. It was raining, but still he was outside working on that damned truck of Haru's. They needed the money so he'd worked twelve, thirteen hour days just to get it done. When he took a break to eat his sandwich – having kindly refused the offer of soup from Haru – a little whimper from the gutter. Reaching down in the cold, grimy water, he'd found a little Aussie puppy. Abandoning his chore for the time being, he ran the puppy inside and ran a bath. Sitting with it, Lavi jumped in the tub, clothes, shoes and all, and held her against his bare chest for warmth. The entire night he sat there, changing the water when needed, until the little one opened her eyes and stopped shivering. It was love at first sight. They'd been partners since.

"Now I'm gonna be,  
Invincible.  
Whoa-oh-oh-oh  
Invincible."

Grabbing Tohru's hand, he gently pulled her on stage and started to dance again. She was a little more comfortable because now she stood behind him, her tiny hands ghosting over his stomach. Feeling her reluctance, he gently held her hands in his and guided them to his hips. Swinging them gently, he turned and holding her against him, lightly stomped back a couple of steps. Stepping forwards, he dipped her down and gently rubbed down her cheek with his knuckle, winking.

"I've come a long, long way,  
made a lot of mistakes,  
but I'm breathing, breathing,  
that's right  
And I mean it, mean it.  
This time  
I'm a little run down,  
I've been living out loud."

Righting Tohru, Lavi could feel his shirt covered with sweat. Disgusted, he tugged it quickly over his head and tossed it behind him. There was a cat-call from Haru on the piano. Laughter from Hatori on the drums. A couple of the girls let out vulgar cat-calls of their own. Laughing, he wrapped his arm around Tohru and grabbing his cell and waved the light above his head to the beat of the music. The crowd followed, some with cell phones, many with lighters. Ignoring the memory of his mother burning his little arms with cigarettes, he looked at Tohru as he sang the last lines of the song.

"I can beat it, beat it,  
that's right  
'cause I'm feeling, feeling,  
Invincible.  
Whoa-oh-oh-oh  
Invincible.  
Whoa-oh-oh-oh  
Invincible."

With that, the music ended and Lavi could finally stand still. Taking a bow, he held Tohru close...without thinking – maybe not even realizing – he held her close and kissed her. Feeling her gasp, he went to pull back. A second late, her tiny arms wrapped around his neck and she kissed him back. Wrapping his arms around her small body, Lavi held her close. For the first time in his life, he let the tears fall freely. His memories didn't consume him but instead were washed away in a burst of fire that coursed through him. 


	6. What the hell did I just do!

Running his hands through his hair, Lavi downed the shot and signaled for another. Beside him sat Haru and a drunk-giggling Yuki.

"What the _hell _did I just do, Haru. What the hell was I thinking?!"

"Well, Lavi – you sure weren't thinking with the head on your shoulders..."

A cheeky grin followed Haru's comment. Yuki burst into snorting laughter and started to hiccup. Still shirtless, Lavi shivered a little as a gust of air wisped over his back. A second later a body was pressed against his back, arms around his waist. Hands slowly worked their way over his muscled torso and to his arms. Frozen in shock for a moment, he caught the hands before they went any lower and re-tied his belt.

"Fuck off."

Without bothering to see the woman's hurt look, Lavi downed another shot. His nerves were already live wires but what did it matter? This stuff tasted good, he could use the rush. Haru's hand rested on his wrist a second, to stop him.

"Lay off that stuff, will ya'? You've gotta drive your pretty woman home."

"You fuck off too, She's not my woman."

"Hey. You can tell some touchy-feely broad to fuck off, but you do _not _talk to me that way, Lavi. I don't give a shit if you fucked up, alright? Well...actually...I do. But you're not _seriously _expecting me to take you serious while you drown your sorrows in _Irish coffee? Non_-alcohol Irish Coffee? Sorry, man but not gonna happen."

Fidgeting with his watch, Lavi checked the time. 9:55pm flashed back. It was still early. Hoping to use the drunk Yuki as an excuse to cop out, Lavi elbowed Haru.

"Look, man...I should get Mister Cackles here home..."

"No need. I will take him home, I have had enough of this place to last me a life time. Shigure just called and invited you to stay the night. He says he has horror flicks. Knowing him...there's an extremely fair chance that it's not horror at all...but the invitation still stands – from my end as well. It would be a pleasure. "

"Thanks Hatori – but after what I just did up there with Tohru, I dou -!"

The man cleared his throat and pointed his thumb over his shoulder. Tohru was sitting at a table with Kyo. The orange haired man was talking and Tohru was pretending to listen. Caught staring at Lavi, she blushed and looked down. Again his lips itched to kiss her. Her soft lips and so much more...

_Ffffuuu...I just met her for crissake! I have to stop this..._

As much as he tried to convince himself to stop what he was feeling, he found it hard to. The desire to stop his thoughts just _wasn't _there. When he was up dancing with Tohru in his arms...it felt like he did when he was holding Arie when the memories came. He felt safe. He felt like nothing could go wrong. But he also felt like so much more. He felt like he had something he needed to protect and hold dear. To cherish and share things with. He wanted to hear her voice, her laughter. Feel her soft skin...maybe get a peek under that mini skirt she wore...

"No!"

Before he could stop himself, the word burst past his lips. The whole of the place turned to look around at him and Haru who had his arm casually around Lavi's shoulders. Face burning as bright as his red hair, he shrugged off his friends arm and stalked towards the door. Haru, dragging the drunk Yuki behind him followed. He didn't see but a few steps behind was Hatori escorting Tohru.


	7. Authors Note

In writing this story – I realised I did not give due where it was needed. First off a HUGE thankyou to my dear friend The characters death! You have been such a huge huge help! You are an amazing person and I love you for it! Also – although I wish I owned Lavi xD – I do not own the characters nor do I own the songs!

Thank you, and happy reading! :D

A Soulless Poet


	8. AHHMAHGO!

Jamming the key into his bikes ignition, Lavi swore when the spark didn't take. Now of all times, his bike had to fail him! Checking the gas, he had just under a quarter tank. A stop on the way home was unavoidable. Just as the engine struck home, a hand shot in and grabbed the keys. Ready to punch out whoever had grabbed his bike like that, he turned...and came face to face with Haru.

"What do you want? Gimmie my damn keys."

His friend just tossed them in the air and casually strolled over too sit on his front wheel. Shaking his head with a sigh, Lavi gripped the handle bars tighter and prayed for patients.

"Give. Me. My. Keys...or else."

Again that grin that was making him burn in barely held back anger. Why couldn't he just run away and hide in his crappy home – in his own room and just ...play his guitar...or read...or – something...! Even write!"

"Or else what!"

"I'll dip your tighty whities in pasta sauce and make you wear them. Arie'd _love _that!"

Haru's face pale a moment then cleared. Lavi tried as hard as he could to keep a passive face. His friend saw right through his look. They bother knew that was a hollow threat.

"Lavi...what happened happened – from the looks of it, you both enjoyed it. Just go with it – she's sexy – if you like the whole innocent vulnerable thing – I don't but you do! Besides...you deserve to celebrate that kick ass performance! Maybe get past the kissing bit...?!"

At Haru's gesture, Lavi punched his arm and tried again with the bike. No luck. Trying to come up with a plan to hot wire his own bike, his thoughts scattered when a tiny hand rested on top of his gripping so tight onto the handle bar. When her voice shook, he could hear her uncertainty in it.

"Lavi? Are you..."

When he looked at her, she removed her hand and fidgeted with her nails, looking down at her fingers. He could tell she was nervous, maybe a little scared. Then he realized he was scowling and fixed his features. Gently Lavi lifted her chin so she was facing him. With his thumb, he gently rubbed her soft lips. The desire to kiss her again was so strong, but it had to be fought. Things needed to be said and it wouldn't do to be distracted.

"Tohru...we just met...and...I don't really – well..."

"He's trying to say that he's a bad-boy with a kick ass bike and likes to take women for rides!"

Heat rushed up Lavi's face and neck as he blushed a deep crimson. The look on Tohru's face he could not figure out. She was..._smiling?_

"Look, Tohru – I've never – that's...Haru!?"

"Lavi's trying to say he's a virgin!"

Jaw dropped in horror, Lavi fell to his knees – all his strength left him. Not only had he publicly humiliated himself and the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen – his _best friend_ just ousted him. Glaring over at Haru, Lavi gave him a one – fingered salute when Haru grinned and shrugged.

"Just tryin' to help, Lavi! Better she found out before...!"

"You. I will deal with you _later._"

Dismissing it with a wave, Haru went over to the fallen Yuki who'd just hurled all over a big guy. Said big guy was on the verge of punching him out.

"Lavi, it's alright you know..."

Blushing even more, he looked up into her eyes again. Her smile was so innocent, so pure...he couldn't help but stand and wrap his arms loosely around her waist. Fidgeting with the bottom of her top, he took a breath and asked.

"You're sure, it's alright that...?"

"Yes! I can understand why you'd give girls rides – it looks like a lot of fun actually!"

"Are...we...talking about the same thing here, Tohru...?"

Giggling, she clapped her hands together and smiled. Dropping his head on her shoulder lightly, Lavi sighed then laughed. Clearly they weren't on the same page here...!

"Tohru, he was saying that I use my bike to get women to have sex with me..."

"...Oh..."

Something he couldn't make out flashed in her eyes. They turned a dark shade of blue and immediately he wanted to hold her and explain.

"But that's not what I use it for – the only girl I have on their is Arie – my dog...whom I hope you will meet...?"

Just then Haru came back with Yuki half dragging behind him. When Yuki looked, he grinned and laughed.

"Lavi's got a pickle himself in a hole!"

Hatori shook his head and took a puff of his smoke, choosing to stay out of it. Haru on the other hand elbowed Yuki in the ribs, laughing.

"You mean Lavi's got himself in a pickle...or Lavi's dug himself in a hole? Either are firkin hilarious...!"

Nodding, Tohru turned and was about to speak to Hatori when Lavi grabbed her wrist and gently pulled her against him. Looking into her eyes, he could see that they were still uncertain. Slowly he rubbed her lips again with his thumb, leaning down a little bit. He could hear her soft gasp and drew her against him, their bodies touching.

"Lavi?"

"Tohru..."

Their lips touched in the softest of kisses, Lavi was about to gently lean her against the wall and deepen the kiss – to hell with the perverts watching! – when a loud exclamation and a belch from Yuki broke them from their reverie.

"_Oh my god! I found Lavi's shirt!"_

"Yuki...that's your shirt...Lavi's was blue..."

"_Oh my god, my shirt!_ It's so soft...!"

So caught up in petting his shirt, Yuki stumbled over to Haru and belched right in front of him. Haru fought off Yuki's drunken apologies and tears – just about to step back when Yuki threw up – all over Haru. Having not eatin anything, the contents of his stomach was all alcohol. Slowly the giant puddle grew ever larger, working it's way towards Lavi and Tohru.

"Augh! Yuki! Tohru, here I'll give you a ride to Shigure's house!"

Picking her up bridal style, he held her close and kissed her sweetly. Until, yet again Yuki opened his drunken mouth.

"Ahhmahgo! Lavi are you coming to watch the movies ?! Are you bringing Tohru? You two can sit beside each other and I wont tell a soul if you're doing dirty thi – baahg!"

The last bit was cut off by more vomit flying out. Gagging and laughing, Lavi carried Tohru to his motorcycle and catching the keys Haru tossed, started the engine. With a last wave, he rode a donut then sped off into the dark towards Shigures.

_Who knows...maybe we will watch the movies together...minus the vomiting!"_

The last thing they heard was Haru cursing Yuki for being a lightweight. Lavi was extremely happy that in this moment he _didn't _drive a car...!


	9. Awkward!

Stretching out, Lavi wrapped his arms around Arie and gently rubbed her tummy, kissing her soft fur.

"Good morning, my girl!"

It hit him like a ton of bricks, right to the head. The largest and worst hangover ever. Grabbing his temples, he rolled over - and felt another body beside him. Groaning, he reached a hand down too hold Arie close when he felt a squishy lump of flesh. Then he heard a gasp. Felt a sharp slap across his face.

"What the - ?!"

Really looking, really opening his eyes – he swore and removed his hand off of Tohru's chest. Behind him Haru and Shigure were laughing their heads off playing a video camera. Sitting up, he went to get up and steal the camera when he heard Tohru scream. Turning around, Lavi realized he was just in his boxers, Tohru in her pajamas. Looking further around, he realized something else...

"Haru...why am I in a bed with pink sheets...in nothing but my _boxers? _"

Haru was laughing so hard, he couldn't breathe. Beside him, Shigure had fallen to the ground, tears running down his face. Gasping, the man finally spoke.

"That's...a good question – hhhaaaa! Mmhm. Lavi – what happened? You looked a little comfortable there rubbing her belly and kissing her hair. And the night before – yoo-hoo! Am I ever glad I spiked your coffee, man! The way you were kissing her – right in front of everyone! Lavi, Lavi, Lavi...! I didn't know you were a pervert!"

Lying back down on the pillow – for a moment the room spun. Lavi just lay there trying to get his jumbled thoughts together. In the bathroom, he could hear the shower running.

"Haru, did Tohru and I...?"

His friends grin _wasn't _comforting. Nor was the way that Haru paused and tossed his self on the bed. When he tucked his hands behind his head and sighed, Lavi grabbed the pillow beside him and tossed it. Haru brought the pillow to his face and inhaled the sweet scent. A spike of jealousy spiked through Lavi. Soon followed by a warmth that he couldn't identify. Grabbing the pillow, he tucked it behind his back and gently kicked Haru on the side.

"Out. I gotta get dressed before Tohru steps outta the shower and sees me in my boxers..."

As an afterthought he added:

"Again."

Alone in the room, he had only one leg in his jeans when Tohru stepped out of the shower wrapped in her towel. Burning crimson, Lavi turned and tripped over the blanket lying on the floor. Tohru rushed over and held out her hand to help him. When he grabbed her hand, and tugged to get up, she lost her balance and fell down on top of him. Laughing a shy laugh, he was about to sit up and set her down.

"Ah-haa! What do we have here?!"

Gasping, Lavi sat up way to fast and fell over , pulling Tohru with him once again. In the door stood a now calm Shigure...and much to Lavi's horror – Hatori. Closing his eyes and whispering a soft curse, he sighed.

_Damnit...now I'm fucked...and not even the good kind!_

*A/N: I apologize for the swears...I'm running on 3 and a half hours sleep and at this given moment, this is hilarious to me. So...OHHMAGO!


	10. Conversations of a - serious sort

Without really realizing what he was doing, Lavi had begun to rub Tohru's back. Much to his surprise, she hadn't moved her head from his shoulder. Opening his eyes, he groaned when Haru and Shigure stood there grinning...and another face were there too. Not laughing but with a scowl.

"Garfield?! You live here too!? Fffuuu..."

Going to sit up – Lavi was yet again shocked when Tohru leaned into him and her tiny fingers gripped his shoulders. When she spoke her voice was barely a whisper.

"Lavi...don't move please. I...don't want to get up...my towel..."

Understanding immediately, Lavi looked at the men standing in the door way and noticed yet another. Yuki. He looked pale and drawn but otherwise in not so bad shape.

"Guys...this isn't a show – if you don't mind...we kinda need to get dressed..."

Turning pale, Yuki made a break for the bathroom, Shigure grinned and winked at Lavi, Kyo glared and was about to barge in but Haru – with a knowing grin for Lavi – pulled him away. Sighing, Lavi tucked his arms behind his head and looked at Tohru... And he couldn't help but grin at the view.

When she gasped and sat up, Tohru almost ran to the bathroom again. Lavi held her down by the hips – trying very very hard to ignore their state of dress. This was too important.

"Tohru...look if...I did or said anything that you were uncomfortable with or if – um...something...happened...I'll - ah..."

Sighing, he ran his hands gently up and down her sides, he could feel her shiver and it gave him shivers of his own. The look on her face was a mix of confusion and her own unique and innocent smile.

"If something happens – I'm...I'll do what I can to help out. I'll be there, help with the raising and diapers and - !"

He was stopped by her gently placing her tiny hand over his lips. He was _so _tempted to nibble her fingers but he tossed that thought aside.

_For later...maybe...right. In my dreams...!_

"Lavi – what are you talking about? We didn't...we didn't – make love...no."

Her face was so red with a tiny almost sad smile. Lavi was so overcome with joy; he hugged her close and kissed her. Grinning from ear to ear he lay back once again with his hands behind his head. Then sat up again, way too fast. This time he fought the vertigo overwhelming him and gently held her upper arms.

"Tohru – that's not what I meant! I meant – that...well – you are attractive, really you are! I'd do – um – shhii! – Yeah...but...I just...ah hell...Tohru - !"

Again she smiled that small smile and stood. Lavi's stomach dropped when she went to the bathroom and shut the door firmly behind her. Tugging his jeans – he tossed on a shirt and buttoned the first button when there was a knock on the door. Expecting to see Kyo or Yuki, Lavi's head shot up and he tugged his shirt closed. Laughter greeted his pathetic attempt at modesty.

"Nothing I've not seen before, bro...remember – we _did _spend a night in the bathroom together..."

Grinning at Haru's perverted joke – and praying Tohru didn't hear – Lavi whistled low and finished buttoning his shirt. Once done he shook his head and took in his friend. Black skinnies jeans, Black t-shirt that showed off his muscles, chains and wrist bands...typical Haru. Probably why he got all the ladies while Lavi was left with nothing...!

"You mighta want too..."

Making a motion with his hand, Haru laughed just as the door to the bathroom opened. Swearing under his breath again, Lavi quickly zipped his jeans and put on a belt. Laughing to cover his embarrassment, he couldn't help but feel that warm feeling again as Tohru came and rested her hand on his arm. She wouldn't meet his eyes with her own and he noticed the blush was still there. Again he had the desire to gently rub his cheek with his knuckle. Lifting his hand, he was about too, until he saw her eyes shift to his raised hand. Instead, he twined his fingers with hers and smiled, glaring at Haru.

"So, Baka...what's for breakfast? It's Tohru's day off."


	11. The pleasures of heaven and hell

WARNING: HINTS OF EXTREMELY MINOR YAOI – You have been warned. (As is stated in description NO Lemon...just hints of it... xD)

Gathering the dishes from the table, Lavi ran a sink of dish water and dipped his hands in. As was habit, he kept a knife close at hand. At his old place, he was the one that did all the cooking and cleaning, all the upkeep and budgeting. Shaking his head, he turned on some music and started to wash the dishes.

_I need to stop thinking about my mother. She wasn't my mother. She just gave birth to me. _

Rinsing a plate, he softly sang along to the song. Nothing was better than listening to music while he worked.

"So hold me, hold me, ah-ah-ah...closely, closely –ah-ah-ah-AHG!"

So busy and lost in his own world, he didn't realize that arms had worked their way around his waist until they started to unbutton his shirt. When the hands went to his belt, he quickly grabbed her wrist to stop her.

"Tohru – we're in the kitchen – I don't think..."

Turning in her arms, he leaned against the counter and pulled her close. Reaching behind him, he grabbed the knife from the sink and held it to his throat.

"Haru...that was not fucking funny. You bastard."

His friends grin caused Lavi's blood to boil. He _knew. Knew_ damn it, that Lavi _always _had a knife in the water with him. And he goes and pulls a trick like this.

"Haru – why the hell did you –"

Lavi was stopped by Haru's lips on his. Sighing, he shoved his best friend away. Although he loved him to death he didn't _love _him. That just wasn't his chosen life choice. Stabbing the knife into the butcher board counter, he pulled back his wrist and punched Haru right in the chin. Laughter rang out from Haru and Lavi tried to punch again, this time in the stomach. Rolling around a moment, Lavi got the upper hand and sat on Haru's stomach to pin him down. Both were breathing heavily when there was a light knock on the door.

"Excuse me for interrupting...whatever this is – but Tohru asked me to inform you both that we're going to the beach. I'm driving."

And with that, Hatori left. His face was unreadable, his voice emotionless.

_Even his eyes are cold as ice..._

Just the thought gave Lavi shivers. Getting off his friend, he righted his shirt and put on his watch.

"Hey c'mon...ya think that he's gonna tell Tohru her man is actually into me?"

"Haru...whatever. We've already discussed it and you know where I stand. I won't apologize any more... don't _ever _do that again. As for kissing me? We've been there and tried it. It's just not my thing. Alright? Now come on, let's go to the damn beach."

Once upstairs, Lavi slammed his door shut and punched the wall. He could have _stabbed _Haru. Why would he do that? Why would Haru take that risk? That _one time _they actually did kiss it was a joke...a dare. They were ten and at a party. Spin the bottle and Haru happened to pick Lavi. Their friends dared them and like normal ten year olds, they went for it. Not realizing the cause their actions would create.

Running his hand through his hair again, he tossed his book, shorts and a towel in his bag and went to Tohru's room. Knocking on the door, he heard her soft voice tell him he could come in. When he stepped in, he nearly choked. She was wearing a blue two piece bikini...a wrap lay on the bed beside her.

"Ah, Lavi...I was hoping it was you...could you please help me with this?"

Shaking his head to clear the image, he walked to her and dropped his bag on the floor. Gently he reached around her to tie the knot in her suit. Her chest was touching his and he could feel her breathing. Done with that, Lavi gently and slowly rubbed her back and sides. Looking into her eyes, he saw something there. She was..._scared?_

"Tohru? What are you afraid of, love?"

Hiding her face against his chest, she held her hands to her heart and stepped towards him, so they touched skin to skin. Tohru was shivering, so he wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her head...she smelled of peach...and something all her own. Lavi had to tamp down his feelings. This was not the time, nor the place.

"Lavi...?"

"Hmm?"

"I...saw...the kitchen...when Haru..."

At her words he tensed up and words immediately came to his head. He wanted to explain, wanted to reassure that he wasn't Haru's partner. That he...

_That I what? Love her? I hardly know her! But it's not just lust...she's...special, damn it! I can't explain it..._

And he couldn't. Deep down in his heart of hearts, Lavi did not know _why _he felt this way about Tohru. He'd have to be dead to not realize there was lust... but it went so much deeper than that!

"Oh, Tohru...Tohru, no. Haru...wants what he can't have. We're not a couple, I'm not – I don't love him. Sure as a brother but ... not like _that._"

Before he could finish what he was going to say, Tohru stood on her toes and froze, just before her lips. Leaning back, he looked into her eyes for a moment. They were such a deep blue that he felt sucked in and trapped. Felt his bones go to liquid and he moved as if his actions were not his own. Capturing her lips with his, Lavi shut the door with his foot and leaning against the wall, he held her close. She wrapped her small arms around his neck...he held her close in his strong embrace...for a moment, each felt the fires of sin...the glories of heaven...the uncertainty of two people locked in an intimate embrace unsure as to what the hell either was doing in the other's arms...


	12. What once was a nice day

Tossing the stick that Arie brought back to him, Lavi tried to return to his book. Try as he might, it just did not interest him right now. What _did _interest him was Tohru building a sand castle just a little ways away. To his great surprise, Hatori – of all people! – had asked Tohru to build a sand castle. And now he was making her laugh! Although he knew he should be jealous...he wasn't.

This was Hatori they were talking about here! With eyes of ice and a face of stone...Lavi couldn't see him making a pass at Tohru.

_Garfield on the other hand..._

Looking over at where Kyo the Ass was, he couldn't help but laugh. The idiot was curled in the sun fast asleep, his skin red as a lobster. Yuki lay under an umbrella and was flipping through a magazine. Shigure was...well – being Shigure. Chasing after bikini clad high school girls. Shaking his head, Lavi closed his book and rest his head on his arms. The day was so warm, the sun beating down just right on his back and legs...he felt so at calm and so at peace...

Until Arie came over, tail wagging, and shook herself off. Laughing, Lavi rolled on his back and pat his tummy. Arie immediately began to snuffle and lick his neck and face. Grabbing her collar, he undid it from her neck and tucked it away. Grabbing the stick, he let it fly through the air and away she ran.

"Lavi!"

Hearing Tohru call his name, he stood and wandered over too where she was. Again he was struck by her beauty. Remembering their kiss in her room, how her soft lips had set his nerves aflame, he waved and running by tickled her sides – hoping she'd follow. Diving in the water, he got his wish. Tohru ran right after him – oddly enough, followed by Hatori.

"Lavi, we're gonna have a chicken fight, you versus me. Hatori said he'd let me sit on his shoulders! Are you ready?"

Nodding, Lavi was about to wave to Haru for help, but he was sitting with Arie rubbing her belly. Much to his great surprise, Yuki came over and knelt in front of him.

"Here – you can sit on my shoulders."

Surprised that Yuki was out of the shade at all, he nodded and climbed on. The chicken fight began. Reaching out to Tohru was a little hard, considering Hatori was so tall. Twining their fingers, the two began to push against each other. Soon the pair was laughing so hard, Lavi couldn't do it anymore. But he wanted to hear her laugh forever. See her beautiful smile and her gorgeous eye lashes wet with the dew of her tears of joy.

"Lavi, you've gotta watch! Ahh!"

Caught off guard, Lavi was pushed in the chest and he and Yuki went flying backwards. Quickly getting off Yuki's neck, he grabbed Tohru by the wrist and pulled her in with him. When the two came up for air, Yuki and Hatori looked like drowned rats. That just had the pair laughing even more. Wrapping their arms around each other, the two laughed and walked their way towards the beach. Picking her up princess style, he carried her ashore to a fallen log.

Sitting there, the two talked for hours about simple things. About life and Lavi's love of music, Tohru's love of cooking. Her schooling, why he never went. No kisses, no hugs...just the two holding hands, lost in each other's voices...lost in each other's eyes. When she was cold, Lavi got up and grabbed a blanket. More logs on the fire and they sat wrapped together. Arie soon joined them and Lavi figured this day couldn't get any better...Until...

...In his jeans, his phone began to ring. Confused, he accepted the call. Before he could speak, a voice spoke. Lavi froze. Not saying a word, he set the phone down and gathered Tohru in his arms. Gently rubbing her cheek with his knuckle, he kissed her slow and sweet, wrapped her in a blanket and grabbed his keys. Mounting his bike, he revved the engine and sped off into the night, tail lights fast disappearing.

"Hello? Lavi? Hello, Lavi! This is important, you need to listen!"

Tohru picked up the phone and listened to what the voice on the other line was saying. Tears sprang to her eyes as she listened to what was being said. Hanging up she stood and ran to find Hatori...


	13. A nightmare of memories

**(A/N: **_**Italic**_** writing is Lavi's memories in his dreams.)**

_The hall was silent and dark. Downstairs the television was off and no noise came. Now was his chance to get away. Not another night could he stay in this house. His mother was passed out from alcohol and the man she was with for the night was passed out beside her. He'd heard everything...all of it. To his mind, it sounded like the bad man was hurting his mommy. When he went to stop the bad man, a bottle was thrown at him. Scared, Lavi ran. He knew: When in trouble, look out for Nightingale. So...he did..._

Oblivious to the world, Lavi sat in a chair in the hospital waiting room. Waiting to hear from the doctor as to her condition, he'd fallen asleep. Lavi hated leaving Tohru on the beach like that...normally he wouldn't leave her. He'd have brushed off the call and taken her in his arms, cuddling by the fire. He'd planned on asking her if she'd wanted to camp under the stars...

All of that changed however, when he answered his damned phone.

_So cold. So very cold. His little feet slapping the cement as he ran, his ragged breathes ripping his lungs to shreds. Clutching his little back-pack and teddy closer, eyes wondering, he ran down his street. The lights of his neighbors' homes were on and he was so tempted to go and knock on their door and explain what happened. But mommy told him:"If you ever tell anyone what happened, we'll have to move again. He'll come after us, just like daddy. You want that, Lavi?"_

_Daddy? Daddy left...Daddy died, mommy said. Daddy died and mommy sucked the bottle. That and more to survive and fuel her habit. _

_He's older now...fourteen years old, a man. As such, he stands in front of his teacher explaining why he had to drop out of school. A job, he lied. His mother's sick, his dad dead. (Truth). Any excuse he can think of to escape the police, to run from the drunk and abusive men her mother brought home. And now – to escape the one thing that kept him sane his life through. He lied to the person he trusted most – his teacher – why he was leaving school. _

_They were going to a new town anyways, so what was wrong with a little white lie? So he sat the teacher down and looking her right in the eye he told the biggest lie he'd ever told._

"_My mother is dead."_

_The way he explained it, his mother had died. She was driving down the road, he said. Drunk of course. She was on her way to her way home. When asked from where he just gave the teacher an exasperated look. _

_Told to wait, he fidgeted and listened at the door. The guidance counsellor, principle, his teacher all were there. Panic stuck him. They'd try and call his mother. Check his story. And if she was drunk enough, she'd answer the phone. Running to the window, he climbed through and booked it for home. He'd taken to long already. Filled with dread, Lavi knew she'd be waiting..._

Puffing the last of his smoke, the man sat and watched the red head frown. He was fidgeting. – Something was bothering him that much was plain. Waving his badge at the red-faced nurse, he walked over to the rows of seats and was just about to grab the red-headed mans shoulder when he spoke.

"Tohru...Tohru...I..."

The rest was lost in a mumble, but the man smiled...he could understand a little of what Lavi was mumbling about in his sleep. A small smile came over the man's face as he whispered that name again. A tear fell down his cheek and onto the ragged bandana wrapped around his wrist. Sighing, the smoking man nodded. He'd finally found him...

...One question popped into his mind though.

"Lavi, who's Tohru?"

With a gasp, Lavi's eyes opened. Moss green eyes met steel silver ones. Standing, Lavi grabbed the man by the collar of his shirt. Security waved away, Lavi did the one thing the man did not expect. Stars filled his vision as the red heads fist met his cheek. Let go, he fell to the ground dazed.

"What the _hell_ are you doing here. You should be _dead!_"


	14. When the shit blew right past the fan

Lavi's mind was whirling as he stood above the man before him. The man who'd promised he'd be kept safe. The man who promised that his dead beat dad would never come back...who had promised a lot...and had given nothing.

"You know why my mother's in the hospital, Nightingale? You _failed. _You promised she'd be safe; she'd get help with her alcoholism. Well – guess what? Thanks to you – I quit school when I was _fourteen. _Fourteen! We moved towns, did you know that? _Twice. _Well – fuck all that, screw the changes! I met someone. Right? I met the most beautiful girl in the world. And I get that damned call! I left her on the beach! _Left her! _I was gonna ask..."

Taking a deep breath, Lavi ran a hand roughly through his hair. Thoughts of Tohru filled his mind. Right now, all he wanted was to just kiss her and loose himself in her taste, scent, just to _be _with her! But he was stuck here with this..._bastard!_

Still trying to wash away the remains of his memories, he concentrated on the one piece of the dream he _did _want to concentrate on. Tohru...they were back on the beach, he had his arm around her, holding her close. The two wrapped in a blanket, just lying there enjoying the stars...each others company.

"Lavi...look, son...it's – I can't explain. I had to go under cover. I "died" because my cover was blown. I was found out...we'd been working this case for _months, _Lavi. Finally after I was discovered, the case broke and we caught the bastard...when I tried to find you and your mother – you were gone."

Stepping forward, Lavi shoved the cop against the wall and grabbed his shirt. Tears ran down his face and his nerves were on fire. In his heart, he was stone. Right now, he didn't give a damn if he was arrested for assault. All he wanted to do was punch this man before him. Punch him until he bled.

"_Don't you dare call me son._ You are not my father! You were just some man that was there when I needed a man in my life. Hell, you weren't even for that. I had my friend Haru for that. And now I've a new friend...a new life. And you are _not _part of it."

"So you have a girlfriend, hey? Her name is Tohru? What's she like?"

Sitting up, the cop adjusted his jacket and brought his knees to his chest. A little bit of blood trickled down his lip and he wiped it away. Lavi still burned with anger. Doors banged open and a voice called out but he didn't pay attention. Right now, all he cared about was beating the life out of this prick. This so called friend. This useless excuse for a man.

"Laavvviii!"

Before he could take a step back, a tiny body crashed into him. Brown hair went flying in his face a moment, tiny hands pushed his shoulders down and a small body straddled his hips. Dazed for a moment, he looked up into her eyes. Slowly, uncertain, he slid his hands up to her hips and gently lifted her up. Crossing his legs, he nested her close and stared in confusion.

"What...are you...doing here?"

"Lavi, I picked up your phone, I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that but...I want you to come home...come home! Hatori can take your mothers case! He's a doctor! Right Hatori?"

"I don't take cases of family. Lavi lives with you and ... seems rather – important..."

At this he looked pointedly at Lavi's hands resting on her hips. Lavi's heart fell. So this was it.

"But...just this once...I will make an exception."

At this moment, Lavi could have _kissed _Hatori! His mother was going to be okay...for now. But it was time that he straightened his own life out. Another bang of the door and Yuki and Haru came in. Worry was written all over their faces. Hatori was taking care of Nightingale's jaw and shook his head.

"What the hell happened...Lavi – that was an amazing punch..."

Leading Nightingale away, Hatori finally left them in silence. When Haru and Yuki looked at each other then at the couple, Yuki could only laugh and pat his shirt. Although a man of few words, Lavi couldn't help but respect the silent way he showed himself to the world. He had a hidden strength that the red head couldn't help but envy...except when he was drunk. That was just hilarious...

With a sigh, he hugged Tohru close. Just holding her seemed to calm his nerves and soothe the ache in his heart. Taking a deep breath, Lavi felt his eyes start to burn. Enough was enough – Nightingale was back. That would have to be dealt with. But for now...for now it was just them. Just Lavi and Tohru. Yuki and Haru. With a grin, he couldn't help but think for a fleeting second.

_They would make a cute couple...I wonder if Yuki is...?_

Then a thought of his mother lying in bed with the tubes and needles, seeing her get her stomach pumped and watching as she fell into a coma. He couldn't breathe. The room was closing around him. Looking around, the room spun – wild and crazy. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think. He needed Arie...!

"Arie! Arie...Arie!"

He could feel Tohru's soft hands cup his face. When she spoke, her voice was soft.

"Lavi...you're okay. You're here with me. Tohru. Just breathe, okay?"

Suddenly the ground was moving again and Tohru was beside him. They were walking...somewhere. Looking again, he noticed Haru was carrying him. He couldn't read anything on his friends face – just worry. Holding Tohru's hand in his, he held it against his heart. It was beating so fast, he had to calm down...fear spiked through him – he'd never had an attack this bad before.

Once they were down an abandoned hall, Haru kicked open a door and set Lavi down on the bed. Brushing the stray hair off his forehead, he bowed and left. Lavi could hear Yuki and Haru talking softly outside the door. Moving over on the bed, he pat the spot beside him. She came and the two laid back...her head on his chest. He had one arm wrapped around her, the other behind his head.

Slowly Lavi's breathing returned to normal...holding her closer, he rolled on his side and tucked her to his chest.

"This isn't a blanket of stars, my Tohru...but...to me; it's still the best thing in the world..."

Gently rubbing her cheek with his knuckle, Lavi looked into her beautiful eyes. He had a very serious question to ask her. Kissing her a moment, he rolled on his back and wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close. He could feel her laughter and couldn't help smiling himself. Nightingale was alive...his mom was in a coma...right now his life was just one pile of shit that hit the fan way to fast. But...in this moment, with her in his arms, kissing her to forget, to wash away the pain...and –yes he'd admit it- because it just damn well felt _right..._he was happy...Truly.

Looking Tohru in the eyes, he took a deep breath. Lavi's insides were goo and he wanted to crawl under the bed and hide – but he asked all the same.

"Tohru...I know...we haven't known each other that long and things are going so fast...but...I feel that this is the right thing to do. You are such an amazing person. You're so beautiful and caring...will you do me the honour of - ?"

Before he could finish his question, Haru opened the door and lifting his shirt dropped a bundle. Laughing at the sight of these two, their bodies entwined, he shut the door again. Looking curiously at the bundle, it moved. Just then, in an explosion of blankets, his Arie came and lay on the pillows above their heads. Grinning, Lavi gathered Tohru in his arms and grinned at her, mischief in his eyes.

"So, Tohru? Would you..."


	15. Guys night out

_**This chapter is for you, my friend – you know who you are! *Shifty eyes* Thank you for the idea and I hope you like drunk Yuki!**_

"Lavi – do you have a five?"

"No...Yuki, we're playing - !"

"Aawh...Wait! Wait! BINGO!"

Resting his elbow on his head, Lavi put his face in his hands and sighed. Shigure, Hatori, Yuki, Haru and Lavi were playing poker and drinking for a guy's night out. Kyo had said he'd rather have been anywhere but here. After what he'd asked Tohru in the hospital, he went to Haru for advice and in turn to Yuki. Once that was all settled and plans made, it was Hatori that suggested a guy's poker game.

Two hours in and Yuki was so drunk he kept forgetting they were actually playing poker. As the man in question laughed and fell out of his chair, his cards went flying. A loud belch and"Cribbage!" came from under the table. Sighing, Hatori grabbed Yuki and a cold cloth.

"Wai-wai-ma'am...I'm winning! I just won solitaire!"

Laughing, Lavi slapped his cards down on the table and removed the ring from his finger. Looking at it sadly, he tossed it on the pile. An odd look on his face, Shigure – who won – picked it up and passed it back.

"I thought you were going to give this to Tohru?"

"I got cocky and bet it, you won fair and square, Shigure."

When the man shook his head and passed the ring back, Lavi nodded his thanks. Unless it was to Tohru, he'd hate to part with it. Even then, he'd feel a little sad. It was his mothers' ring that his biological father had given her. They were supposed to get married and he'd given the ring as a promise.

_A promise..._

"Hey, so Lavi...you're not longer gonna be a bachelor. Not sneaking women in at night, no spank spanky with the woman you just met at the bar..."

Just about to take a sip of beer, he set his drink down and looked at Shigure like he'd gone mad. At the mention of "spanky spanky" his cheeks flushed as red as his hair. Haru laughed and from the door way, the tipsy Yuki spoke up. Loud and boisterous, of course...!

"He arready got the hanky panky!"

This time, Lavi did choke on his beer. Hanky panky? Then he realized exactly what Yuki meant.

"Wait, wait, wait... guys...you mean..._that?_"

At their nod, Lavi turned even more red. Leaning on the back legs of his chair, he wrapped his ankles around them, his hands behind his head. Quickly he shook his head to dislodge what he was thinking.

"Guys – we didn't...do _that _...yet..."

Haru gave Yuki a look that clearly said: _he's a liar!_

"We didn't! I swear!"

Tossing a pretzel at Lavi, Haru grabbed another beer from the fridge. Chugging half the bottle, he waltzed over to Yuki and wrapped his arms around his chest. A little buzzed himself, he had to laugh. Haru, loud obnoxious Haru – dressed comptley in black, chains, leather wrist wraps and rings galore on his fingers. He even had his ears pierced! Then there was Yuki...straight laced and quiet, dressed in a dress shirt, pants - polished until they shined shoes! – They seemed the least likely pair of partners! But here they were...and they seemed happy!

Grabbing hold of the little box in his pocket, Lavi opened it and tucked away the ring. He'd do it tomorrow...he already had the dinner and hotel planned out. What he'd say was engrained in his mind. About to tuck it away, Haru grabbed the little box and looked at it. The men passed it around let out a low whistle.

"So, Lavi...when are you gonna ask her?"

A small grin crossed his lips and lit his moss green eyes. Warmth rushed through him...and Lavi hoped that he was making the right decision...

"Tomorrow...I'm gonna ask her tomorrow..."

Sipping his beer, he nodded and the men got back to their poker game. A loud belch and the sound of a hand to the back of the head from the table. Yuki fell into Haru's lap and yelled.

"I WON! AAHMAGO!"

Laughter rang out as the other four men shouted out:

"We're playing _poker, Yuki!"_


	16. A certian kind of innocence

Opening his eyes, Lavi wanted to just crawl into a hole and die. His head hurt so terribly! Running his head down his face and up to his forehead, he felt something cool. A cold cloth! Immediately his thoughts went to Tohru. Looking at the clock though, it was too early...5:07 it said, she wasn't usually up until six. Rubbing his sandy eyes and cotton tongue, he decided it was time to get up and grab an Advil.

Sitting, the red head realized he was in Shigure's living room. Beside him, Haru, Shigure and Hatori were sprawled out – each with a cloth on their foreheads. Looking further around, the room looked the same. But the _smell!_ He could smell...bacon and eggs and pancakes! All of it smelled so good, he was ravenous! All of it made him want to hurl. Running for the bathroom, he made it just in time.

Stepping into the kitchen, he expected to find Tohru there. Instead it was Yuki at the stove, wearing the apron Tohru usually wore. Lavi was a tiny bit jealous...and more than a little upset. Tohru looked good in that apron – now Yuki ruined it! Although from no fault of his own...

"Lavi! How are you feeling?"

"Feeling?"

"Yes – Hatori, Haru, Shigure and you were holding your stomach, moaning about headaches and throwing up all night. Tohru said it was your own faults but took care of you while I watched over the other three...was it the bad sushi maybe? Although I had some and I felt only a little sick..."

Running his hand through his sleep mussed hair, Lavi sighed. The look on Yuki's face was so innocent and filled with concern, Lavi didn't have the heart to tell him. Yuki had ran around his room in his underwear screaming that he'd won cribbage...when in fact they were playing poker...

Sitting down, he happily dug into the food. Now on an empty stomach, he wouldn't say no to such delicious cooking...even if it was a little burned.

_Eh – ads flavour...better then moms cooking that's for damn sure...!_

Just then, the others came stumbling in followed by a grinning Kyo and a worried Tohru. Kyo grinned like the cat that caught the canary, his arm around Tohru. When she saw Lavi sitting there, fork in the air, ready for a bite of pancake, she immediately rushed over and put her hand to his forehead. Setting his fork down, Lavi could feel his face grow hot – and not from fever.

_Take that, Kyo...now who's grinning like the cat that caught the canary..._

Leaning his elbows on the table, he leaned a little into Tohru's hand, causing her to go off balance. When she stepped forward, Lavi wrapped his arms around her and set her on his knee. The look on Yuki's face was a peaceful little smile. No hint at the killer hangover he must feel. Reaching around Yuki, Haru wrapped his arms around him and snagged some bacon.

"So – about last night, Lavi...you n Yuki seemed to be having some fun! What was - !"

Tossing a piece of bacon at Haru, Lavi shot him a look that clearly said:

_Shut the hell up!_

Not missing a beat, he wrapped his arms around Yuki again and snagged more bacon. Lavi could only laugh at these two. Wrapping his arms around Tohru, he held her close and rested his head on her shoulder. That odd look in Yuki's eyes...a type of innocence...

"Yuki...do you remember..._anything _of last night?"

When the violet haired man shook his head, Lavi tried again. At the mention of poker, a negative. Cribbage, a no. Anything he mentioned, Yuki didn't remember. As if on unspoken agreement, no one here spoke of what had really happened last night. Not Yuki being so drunk and running down the street knocking on doors. Not his trying to kiss Lavi or order strippers online. Not even when he hugged the pizza guy sobbing that what he did was the most heroic and unrecognized job on earth. Finally around two AM they'd crashed in the living room with Yuki sitting on the couch watching _Eat, Pray, Love _and sobbing like a little girl that lost her blanket.

Just thinking about it and the innocent and clueless look on Yuki's face made Lavi laugh. To his great pleasure, Tohru joined in...Shigure was nursing a cup of coffee, Haru was too busy trying to get some PDA* from Yuki and Hatori just sat there in his quiet way – smoking as usual. Arie came running in and snagged the plate of bacon from Yuki. When he ran after her, demanding it back – the whole room burst out laughing hysterically.

(*A/N:PDA = _**P**_ublic _**D**_isplay of _**A**_ffection XD)


	17. Hold me tight

Stretching, Lavi tossed himself down on the grass. They had finally found the little aussie thief, but it was too late. The bacon was already devoured. Know she lay across Lavi's legs, licking her chops slowly...almost as if to say: _You gave it your best shot...but not good enough! _

Reaching lazily out, he held Tohru close, enjoying the sunshine. Today was such a nice day! Shigure was kind enough to give him the day off. He was so close to being done the roof, but at the same time...he needed this break. Twelve hours a day, five days a week was killing him. That pace, he could not keep up. Hearing a whisper of a snore, he looked at Tohru and noticed that she was sleeping. The red head couldn't help but grin at her. Even sleeping, she was the most beautiful woman in the world...

_Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzzz...Bzzz...!_

Feeling vibrating at his hip, he flipped open his phone. The sunny day, the warmth of Tohru so close to him, Arie, just there...his joy of the day – all of it...evaporated with this one text.

_Lavi, you need to call me right now. Things have gotten worse. _

A few more times, he read the text...debating whether he should call or not...it could be a trap, Nightingales effort too get him alone and talk. Or...maybe something was wrong. They'd been through this before. He was fifteen and found his mother collapsed in the kitchen. When he tried to feel for a pulse, there was none. Calling the police, he was stuck in a waiting room with a child and family services woman.

He remembered the woman as a stuffy old hag, with no light in her eyes. She just sat there and wrote things on her little note pad. Then she started too click her pen. Everything she could do to ignore him, she did. When Lavi had tried to ask a question, all he got was a look over her half-moon glasses. That was the day he thought his mother was going to die.

Although she wasn't the worlds best mom, she was his mom. The only one he had in this world. Sure he had Haru and now Tohru...he'd always had Arie...his mother was his mother. She'd given him life. Brought him into this world and did the best she could. Grabbing his phone, he sent a quick text and poked Haru in the ribs.

_Tell doctor Sohma I'm coming. Hatori Sohma. _

"What? Lavi, I was just …. what's wrong?"

Mute, Lavi only handed Haru his phone in explanation. When the man read the text, he swore and handed it back. Gently removing his arm from under Tohru, he went to stand but was stopped by her tiny hand holding his. When she spoke, he could hear steel in her voice. She was serious.

"Lavi, if you don't want me to come, just say so. Running away like this isn't going to solve anything..."

Frozen for a moment, he looked down into her blue eyes. Her support, he felt, could get him through this...but...at the same time, he didn't want her to see him in such a weakened state. Pulling her arm gently, he held her close tightly. Lavi could feel himself shivering but only held Tohru tighter. He could feel her tiny hands grip and rub his shoulders. Her voice whispered in his ear.

"It's okay, Lavi...it's okay...you don't need to tell me what happened, just know that I am here, alright? Did you want me to drive?"

Taking a deep breath, he let go and shook his head. Still holding her hand – she made him feel grounded, like he wouldn't just float away – Lavi turned to Haru.

"Please, detatch Arie's seat and..."

The words stuck in his throat like glue. Immidiatly understanding, Haru ran to Lavi's bike and did was was needed. Climbing on the bike, he revved the engine and helped Tohru on.

"Hold me tight, don't let go..."

Speeding away way to fast towards the hospital, headlights bouncing behind him told Lavi that Haru and Arie were right there behind him. Tohru had her arms around his waist...he wasn't alone. He wasn't alone...he never cried in front of anyone! … but this time...just this once. He let the tears fall...


	18. Don't let go

Skidding to a halt in the parking lot, a nurse had to dive out of the way so as not to be hit. Waving his apologies, Lavi shut off the bike and dropped it. Making sure Tohru was following, he couldn't help but smile a stiff smile when he noticed the nurse pick it up and put out the kick stand. He hated to drop that bike like that but right now there was something more important. He couldn't get that text message out of his head...!

Once inside, the smells of the hospital hit him like walking right into a wall. Stopping dead, he reached out and grabbed Tohru's hand for support. This was to much. His mother...the woman he hated with all of who he was...the woman he loved with the desperate and needy heart of a child...was lying in a coma state...possibly dying if the text was accurate.

All the thoughts, all the smells, sounds...people coughing, screaming, little kids crying for their mothers...all of it hit Lavi at once. Turning around, he went to run out – only to crash into Tohru and crush her to his chest. His breathing was erratic, he couldn't seem to catch his breath.

….her tiny arms wrapped around him...the band around his chest loosened...he could breathe and when he did, he could smell her scent. So beautiful...like strawberries and juniper. And something all her own. Holding her was...the same as – if not better, dare he say – then Arie...he felt warm. Safe. As if, the tighter she held him, the more whole he was. The moment she let go was the moment he would fly apart at the seams.

Fly apart at the seams and the whole of him would burst, shattering into a million pieces...pieces that he would never get back, never reclaim. Just that thought sent a cold shiver down his spine. Lavi had to stay whole, no matter what. No matter what he did, he could not let her go. Not now...not when he needed her most.

"Tohru..."

Before he could stop it, the red head whispers her name like a prayer. The taste of it, the most sweetest of honeys to his lips. The coolest water to his tongue...the most agonizing, most terrifying brand to his already branded soul.

_Gods above, what is this woman doing to me...when I am near her, I feel so much pain...but it's mixed with pleasure...how can one tiny woman make me feel so safe, so warm...yet so – trapped. So lost and so alone. Like I've found where I need to be. A room filled with people. Like I have some one I can share anything with...some one to guard and keep safe. A place I can hide my heart... _

Gently, he loosened his hold and looked down into her blue eyes. They seemed to hold him there, frozen. Stuck and trapped. Content as to where he was right in this very second, he gently rubbed a knuckle of his free hand down her cheek. Everything around them disappeared. Her hands slowly slid up his chest, he wrapped his arms gently around her waist.

This time, when he kissed her, he wasn't drunk. This time when he kissed her, it was sweet. Slow. Passionate. In that one kiss, he thanked her for coming here and being at his side. In that one kiss, she let him know that no matter what, she was there. In that one kiss...for one fleeting moment...

The world was theirs.


	19. This is not good bye

Taking a deep breath, Lavi could feel his hand shaking on handle of the door. He wanted to go in...he could hear her asking for him, calling his name. And he wanted to go to her. He _had _to go to her. To hear her say his name, hold him close and tell him that she loved him. She always had. The marks and cuts, the cigarette burns. The lies upon lies, to teachers, to the adults "just trying to help" from the child and family services...the drunken nights where he would hide in his closet, music pounding in his ears to drown out the noise of mommy playing "tag" with the countless uncles...all of that was nothing – just a dream – it never happened.

Gripping the door handle in his hand, he wanted to rip it off and toss it out the window. Take Tohru home and keep her all to his own. Make her his own. Just...forget about all of this and that bitch of a woman lying in the hospital bed in a coma. _She'd _left _him. _Yes he had moved out, but she was already distanced from him. Slamming his fists against the door, Lavi ran his hands through his hair and paced away.

"She left me, damn it! She left me, a little child! How was I supposed to defend myself!? Let alone feed myself – or clothe myself?! I was a little child! A little..."

Gasping at the words caught in his throat, Lavi fell to his knees and lay his head on his fitted hands. Lavi could feel his shoulders shaking, taste the salt of his tears. He couldn't let her see him cry. He couldn't let her get to him and hurt him.

"Lavi?"

A gentle hand on his back caused him to jump. Expecting Haru, he looked over his shoulder...Hatori stood there. His usual baggy hair that covered his bad eye was tucked away. Pulling Lavi up by the arm, he looped his arm through the red heads and slowly walked forward. So caught up in the mans steady gaze and soft voice, Lavi didn't realize where they were until the door handle was in his hand. Tiny arms wrapped around his waist from behind...he felt her tears soak through his shirt...Hatori's voice was still talking, a slow soothing whisper.

"She hurt you, Lavi. The details were explained to me...in her part...I do not have words of comfort to offer but I will say this...follow your heart – and your mind. Listen to both and they'll not lead you astray...it's just up to you too decipher what they mean..."

That said, with a gentle push, Lavi was in the room. Reaching out, he grabbed Tohru's hand stepped forward...expecting to see his mother in a comatic state, tubes everywhere...instead she sat up – pillows piled behind her. When she looked at him, he stopped frozen in his tracks. Tohru bumped into his back.

The hospital, smells, noises, everything was gone. He was five years old again standing before his mother. He'd made a sandwich – not having eatin all day – and she'd freaked out at him. Dinner was on the way she said. He was sent to his room and he lay there for hours, waiting...finally, hunger won out over fear and he snuck downstiars and ate that sandwich.

"So, Lavi... you brought your bitch, hm? Where's your mutt?"

Red hot anger flashed through Lavi as his mother spoke thoughs words. Not a violent man, he wanted so much in this moment to slap her smart across the face. His hand itching, he instead wrapped his arm around Tohru.

"I received a text that you were dying, I came to -"

"After my stuff already? Well to damn bad, you're not in my will anyhow. How's that for a kick in the face!"

Before he could stop it, laughter rang out passed his lips. All the pent up rage, fear, sickness, all the negative emotions came boiling out at once. All the years of abuse, the endless beatings and silences when he did wrong. Little arms aching for a hug and receiving none. Slaps when he kissed her cheek. Forced to grow up watching parents love their childran and question as to why his mother wasn't like that. Lavi laughed until his lungs burned and he fell to his knees sobbing and laughing. Tohru knelt beside him shaking, but all he could do was hold her close. Kiss her cheeks, her hands. Finally, laughter spent, lungs screaming, he stood tall before this _monster. _This _thing _that gave birth to him. Letting his tears fall, he stood tall.

"These are the last tears you will ever see my cry over you. My back leaving will be the last thing you ever see of me. Cut me out of your will, I wasn't expecting anything. The _one thing _I wanted most in my seventeen years mother... was to be held. To be kissed. To be told that I have meaning and a purpose in this world. I've a new family. Tohru is not my bitch. She is my friend. She is the woman I love. Haru is my brother. Hatori a dear friend. As is the other Sohma's whom I live with. More of a family then you _ever _were. I will not say good bye. You don't deserve that closer. You had seventeen years of chances, mother. And you blew them. Do not expect a phone call. From here and now, your bills will no longer be paid. I'll be signing the papers for our home over to the bank. When I was five, you let me wonder the streets alone with nothing but a peanut butter sandwich, Good night moon, my p.j's and a then – deceased cops name-card. Let's see how you do on your own, mother. Forever...Forever alone. Forever bound with the knowledge of what you've done. How you've scarred a poor little child, from your own flesh and blood. I carry the name Bookman proudly and from here on denounce your last name of Marian. I hope you can live with what you've done. "

Spent emotionally, vocally, mentally...just _spent..._Lavi held Tohru close and walked out of the room. A paper fell to the ground...one he meant to give his mother, but chose instead to let it fall where it may. The last bit of his bitter passed, left to turn to ashes...

…._A life time of regrets, __yours __to keep, _

_A life time of regrets, __mine__ to discard,_

_A life time of regrets, __yours to anguish your soul__..._

_A life time of regrets, my memories to bury..._


End file.
